It finally happened
Everyone gets to this point in life, where you’re willing to give up organs if it means removing yourself from your current life. I hit that point at a ripe age of 18, and I stayed there all through 19 and 20.
All I thought of was what could be and do if I could just be self-sufficient. In my head, I could do everything short of going to the moon. I fantasized and romanticized independence, all because I was nowhere close to it.
And then it happened, I got a job and I was going to live on my own.
Like the Taj Mahal, I gasped at its beauty from a distance. But as I came closer, I realized it’s a mammoth of a building and drowns you insignificant. As much as it intimidates and overwhelms me, I started seeing the smaller intricacies that really makes it what it is.
The feeling of paying your own rent, managing your own finances, being taken seriously because of the value you add to the job. It’s a rush and a half if you can get through the days where you can’t feel anything else but lonely and numb.
It feels exactly like it did when I got my driving license. When you are in charge of the wheel and how you get from point A to point B, you realize what all are at stake. You wonder “how did everyone make it seem so easy?!”. But just as driving, after the first few or hundred panic attacks, you enjoy it. You enjoy that you are in charge. And I’ve reached my 90th panic attack, so I know I’ll get there soon.
